Merica

Well it’s the Friday of Memorial Day weekend.

President Trump is going to honor the fallen by correcting his bone spurs or calcium prods or whatever it was that kept him out of Nam and enlisting as Agent Orange.

Per law, everyone else if going to grill animal flesh and watch Saving Private Ryan.

It’s Miles Davis’ birthday today so we can all pretend to like jazz for ten minutes.

Harvey Weinstein turned himself in to authorities. Which make one wonder, was he even on the lam? Didn’t someone slap him in a restaurant in Arizona? Yet the police can’t find this guy? Too busy tazing people with more melanin in their skin for parking violations I guess.

Lots of sales going on this weekend to help us remember the brave men and women of the armed forces. I know when I think about honoring a guy that died face-down in Guadalcanal for my freedom, I think about using that freedom to buy a new car and a mattress and a washing machine with bluetooth.  

Merica.

They are going to make an entire movie about Boba Fett. You know, the character in Star Wars movies that said all (AND ONLY!) these lines:

                As you wish.
                He’s no good to me dead.
                What if he doesn’t survive? He’s worth a lot to me.
                Put Captain Solo in the cargo hold.

Somebody ram the splintered end of a baseball bat into my adam’s apple please. Let me guess he’s a good kid in the beginning and only turned to bounty hunting to save his dying mother who turns out to be a droid that got knocked up after a bender at that bar in Tatooine.

It’s also Mike Myers’ birthday today. It’s rumored he’s going to make Austin Powers 4. Do we really need a whole ‘nother movie? Can’t we all just buy the teeth from amazon and get on with our lives?

The NFL is NOT doing enough by fining players that kneel during the anthem. Hasn’t anyone read anything about conditioning? Besides Pantene Pro being the best, you also have to reward the behavior you want to see. Soooo all players that stand proudly with their right arm over their heart and their left hand gently rubbing their balls will get an AR-15.

Merica.