I had a weird thought yesterday as
I was preparing chicken enchiladas for dinner and adding diced onion. Here was
my thought: Kate Beckinsale is too beautiful for onions; I bet she doesn’t eat
onions. How could someone that beautiful eat onions? I bet she makes a gas face
when onions are listed on a menu.
Why did this thought enter my mind?
Well bopping around on google news I saw that director extraordinaire Michael “Blow
It Up” Bay was “baffled” by her beauty. This of course led to pics of said
beauty and I just thought that there is no way she eats onions. Onions are the
pop and color of the food world and Kate Beckinsale doesn’t need pop and color;
she needs to be toned down for mere mortals to even be in the same city.
So what does she eat?
What do absurdly beautiful people
eat?
And don’t even say they eat onions
too. I’m not buying it.
Saturday night I had the tv to myself
and came across an old 80’s movie I never got around to…so I watched Clue,
mainly because it looked a little like one of my favorite movies Murder ByDeath.
First things first, Clue is no Murder
By Death. Clue is closer to murder by movie. Twas not for me.
But…the very, very voluptuous maid
in Clue was played by actress Colleen Camp. I remembered
her from the second Police Academy movie as the very firearm-informed love interest
of Tackleberry. The scene where she
brings Tackleberry home to meet her family is uproarious. Uproarious I say.
Camp is breathtakingly beautiful in
Clue and it got me to thinking about a person’s peak of beauty. We talk about an
athlete’s peak and the peak of our mental abilities, so how about a peak
of beauty?
But no you say, beauty is in the
eye of the beholder, beauty is subjective, so finding a peak is futile.
Ah but let’s take a quick peak at a
couple of pics.
Collen Camp in 1985’s Clue.
Now to give you an idea of how beautiful Camp is in 1985, take a look at her next to two other actresses from the movie:
Collen Camp at event of Knock Knock,
2015.
Now before you start crying about ageism
and sexism and body shaming, let’s take a look at Marlon Brando.
Now most reasonable, sane people
will undoubtedly say that the younger of the two people are the more beautiful
of the two people.
Why?
Asking why here gets us into
some really worm filled cans containing subjects such as evolution, proximate vs. ultimate
causation, procreation fitness, and more.
But aren't these cans we should open? Can't we talk about beauty without fear of repercussion?
Don't we appreciate beauty because it is rare and doesn't rare run on a time continuum (if it were rare forever it wouldn't be rare!) and if it does, can't we then talk about a peak of beauty?
