The End of Optimism in Cleveland

I have given Terry Pluto a bit of a hard time over the last few years. I have read Terry from way back in the mid 80’s when he covered my Cavs.

You see Terry is, or was, blindly optimistic about the Browns. As I had a problem with here. And a little bit here I guess.  

But, low and behold, has Terry had enough of the Browns?

Cleveland Browns: Was it worth them coming back? -- Terry Pluto

Whoa!

Well if Terry is done with optimism for the Browns, then I am too. So goes Terry so goes I.

But let us not end there. Let us implore some others to beat back their "beloved" Browns optimism with sticks and baseball bats and lead batons and maces and other items that are really heavy that can get the job done. Because some folks just don’t know when to quit.

Take Mary Kay Cabot for instance – eternal optimist when it comes to the Browns. Mary is upset with me because I call her out about this but maybe I am a little snarky about it but she doesn’t realize that optimism is dangerous and doesn’t help the Browns. The Browns need reality, not optimism.

Along comes Kyle Kelly with this nonsense:

Really Kyle? One win in two seasons and you are going to talk about wild card. You shouldn’t be talking about playing cards.

So I

And Mary got upset.

Her right. Totes.

But my point for all, especially those who write about the Browns, is that objectivity is your friend, your very good friend who curbs your wishes and dreams and hopes of this and that and instead fills you with facts and stats that in and of themselves are all the context a Browns fan needs. After all we have endured 1 win in 32 games.

As my father used to say: put wishes in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up faster.

Dying From Hope

I am dying.

I have a disease.

A disease that is/was fully preventable.

The irony is that this disease is a result of hope. Yes hope.

I, (cries one tear) am a Browns fan.

The Browns (sheds second tear) will be terrible in 2016-2017. Their quarterback will be a basket case not to mention his knees are made of potato chips. The running game will be abominable. The receivers will end up on used car lots. The pass rush will not. The pass defense will highlight wikileaks. The players will suffer from chronic losing and the coaches will begin to drool and shake.

And me, I will die a little more, just like I’ve been doing since 1987.

Turn That Superbowl Loss Into Lemonade

Leibnitz is alive and well. You don’t hear much about Leibnitz’ philosophy anymore but his was actually a very entertaining and mind bending one to study. In addition to kooky positions like pre-established harmony and monadism, Leibnitz tackled the age-old problem of evil. Leibnitz’ version of the problem of evil goes a little something like this:

There is a perfect and GOOD god who created everything.

Because nothing imperfect can flow from a perfect being, and evil being an imperfection, there is in fact no evil.

Humans, with limited vision, only think there is evil because they do not have the god’s eye view of events, or what Leibnitz’ contemporary Spinoza, referred to as sub specie aeternitatis.

            It could go something like this:

Love one gets cancer and dies (evil, seemingly)
Grieving relative vows to become doctor and help others battle cancer
Relative becomes doctor and goes on to help numerous people battle and survive cancer,
turning a seemingly evil into an actual benefit (or as Leibnitz, would call it, a Best-Of-All-Possible-Worlds)

So you can plug in any evil you like, let a little time go by, view things objectively, and the evil lemons will give you lemonade. Take your pick, cancer, The Holocaust, 9/11, the Browns…anything…and it is actually perfect, the best of all possible worlds.

Jump to 2015 and the pinnacle of sporting events, the NFL Superbowl. By now you know you know what happened at the end of the game. The Seahawks chose to pass when everyone and their brother and their brother’s dog walker, and his red headed cousin would have given the ball to their cross-eyed running back, nicknamed Beast Mode, Marshawn Lynch. 

So a few days have passed and listen to the Leibnitzian talk from a Seahawks player after the disastrous ending. 

His roommate, Robert Turbin, said he tried to soothe Wilson by telling him that this game, devastating as it was, would wind up as a positive because he would be able to use it to inspire kids.

“One day, you’re going to be talking to some kid, or talking to some high-school quarterback who may be low on confidence or struggling with his game,’’ Turbin said he told Wilson on Monday. “You’re going to give him the example about how you threw a pick on the last play of the game in the Super Bowl.
(http://seattletimes.com/html/larrystone/2025614047_larrystonecolumn04xml.html)

Lemons into lemonade. Now of course, no one is saying that an interception is evil, but you would have to think that losing the superbowl is far from the best of all possible worlds. Not so my Leibnitzian friends. That interception was glorious, that loss was glorious. Grieve not, rejoice, this is the best of all possible worlds. Just ask any Browns fan.