Just A Really Nice Moment

 I was driving the tots to their respective schools this morning -the 8 yr old goes early for gymnastics, and the 3 yr old can be dropped off at daycare at 8m -when they started singing a song from the recent Disney movie, Turning Red. Well I hopped on board and started singing and they started booing me which only made me sing louder...when George Benson's version of This Masquerade came on the radio. So I turned it up and sang along despite their protestations. 

And for some reason it was just great. The kidding with the kids and the great guitar and voice of Benson on that opening two chord vamp was...just great.

And while I usually hold myself in low regard, I started to think about when I first got into that song, probably around 1996. I remember renting a cassette from the School of Music library at Ohio University and trying to play from the sheet music. And while I'm no jazzer of any repute, I listened enough to be able to appreciate it, and dammit that oughta count for something.

Luv you dad.

Well here we are faithful Heavy Levity blog follower, September 21, 2021 and yours truly is now fifty and one years of age. As the religious say in america, holy shit. 

First the facts: I'm a mess mentally...and have been for a long time. Angry, bitter, incompetent, lazy, not too bright, unintelligent, redundant, with a touch of pedant at best and a slap across the face at worst. But on the bright side, I completed a half-marathon on Saturday morning with a time of 1:46:53. (My last half was in 2017 and I finished in 1:51:17.)

Tis funny because I think platonic dualism is the cause of much suffering but in a Leibnizian fashion, my mental suffering helps my almost best of all possible worlds running.

I kid.

Second the fun: my coworkers presented me with a card and sang a lively happy birthday. When I told them it was reminiscent of how they used to sing it at Chi Chi's...NONE of them even knew of Chi Chi's.

Funny haha and funny old-as-hell. I didn't think it was like I was talking about a printing press or a phonograph machine but I guess I went and dated myself.

Third the love: The fam didn't have time to celebrate over the weekend with all the activities and I was happy my wife gave me the four plus hours to get out in the morning, run, and not get back until around 10 or so, while she took all the tots to gymnastics and baseball. And today doesn't bode well because I am gone from about 8 to 8 and the mornings being absolute chaos trying to get everything and everyone together and out the door on time.

But get this: I'm walking my daughter from the car to the check-in table at daycare and I ask her, "You gonna do a good job today?" And in just the cutest fashion in the world, as only she can say it she says, "Yes." But she hangs on that s for just a little bit and it comes out with an unmistakable yesss. So cute and endearing. But it gets better.

Then, she says, "Luv you Dad." Oh man, I lit up like an xmas tree. Totally unprompted but totally accepted and completely needed. 

And with four words, I tell you, one of the best birthdays ever.

My Precocious Spawn

Well as you can probably surmise, during the pandemic, a LOT of kids these days are having a LOT of movie nights. We are not a tv watching family but come the weekend, when the parents have had it up to here with responsibility and parenting and responsibility and parenting, well, movie nights can be a real responsibility and parenting savior. 

A few weeks ago, Journey 2: The Mysterious Island graced (what is the opposite of "sic?") our screen. Now to no one's shock, Journey 2 didn't win any Oscars. Who cares? It won a couple of (relatively) parenting-free hours and so in my book, Journey 2, is a real winner. Unless of course you are counting Journey 2 as Journey without Steve Perry. It's NOT the same. (Sings softly: Highway run...)

While watching Journey 2, ludicrous plot and all, my six year old kinda shocked me. Granted, I don't think what I'm about to share here indicates he's some sort of nuclear surgeon or anything, but still, I thought it was pretty darn astute.

So let me set the scene for you:

To get off the mysterious island, that is sinking into the ocean by the way, Hank (The Rock) and Sean (Josh Hutcherson) must get to the submarine. Which they found out about by using their wits and, of course, the map. Oh no, they are too late! The submarine, is already in the ocean. Well, right after a "Let's do this!" Hank and Sean make a dive for it. )Who can't hold their breath for three minutes now a days?) But oh no! There's a giant electric eel between them and the sub. I think, if memory serves, as this has been a couple of weeks ago, Hank pile drives the eel after a couple of chest slaps and off-the-ring-ropes forearms, and Hank and Sean make it to the sub. End of story.

But oh no! The battery is dead on the sub. And they can't call triple A for a jump. Whatever will they do?

This is where my six year old comes in. He says, "I know what they are gonna do!" Now mind you he has never seen this movie before. "They're going to use the eel to start the sub!"

And if my name isn't Nikola Tesla, that is exactly what they do. 

So my spawn is precocious on at least two fronts here. One: electricity and how it works. Two: how absolutely ludicrous movie plots can be. 

FFS, the Rock swims out and throws a harpoon, which on one end is attached to an electric cable, and on the other, attached to the Sears battery that starts the submarine.

Having recently seen my retirement numbers, here is to hoping my precocious spawn will support me in my old age with all of the dough from his screenplays. 

Some Things...Have...Happened

Whoa.

Some things have happened dear readers.

For one birth has happened, for the third time.

Wait, what was the middle part again?

For two, birth happened in the form of Scarlett Sol.

Truth be told I wanted Sol from this George Carlin bit:

So I’m not getting a ton of sleep but it comes with the territory. Speaking of territories, what all came with the Gadsden purchase?

Did I mention we moved about two months before the birth?

We like to have all of our stressful life events at the same time. More efficient this way. I do the same with sit-ups. I do 1000 right in a row and I am good for the year.

Been reading some books on male friendship. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t exist.

Been trying to keep up with the running and 15 miles a week feels like 150 at this point. My legs were so dead after four miles yesterday we had a wake for them right there at the Y treadmill. I keep reminding myself like Dory in Finding Nemo: just keep running, just keep running. 

I know someday the tots will be able to dress, feed, and hygiene themselves and I’ll be able to ramp up the miles in lieu of friendships or guitar slinging.

You might like this guitar slinging but you might not. Either way, my hits on SoundCloud just went up. Sucker.

The Whole Time

This section from Paul Bowels’ The Sheltering Sky hit me hard:

Death is always on the way, but the fact that you don’t know when it will arrive seems to take away from the finiteness of life. It’s that terrible precision that we hate so much. But because we don’t know, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens only a certain number of times and a very small number, really. How many more time will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, some afternoon that so deeply a part of your being that you can’t conceive of your life without it. Perhaps four or five times more. Perhaps not even that.

Isn’t that just a terrible thought? That some memory you cherish, that fills you up when you recall it, when you know you need to recall it, will someday not? Irretrievable from lack of use.

To think of my parents, now passed, and beautiful memories of them once held, now, I don’t access.

And they are gone.

Others held to be sure but…not enough.

Growing up agnostic though I was, I used to think about how delightful it would be, when sitting before god upon my death, to watch the movie of my life. 

I want the movie of my life. So much. I need to know it is there. Not only my parents but my children? I won’t recall this moment where Juju did this and MisterMister did that?

Maybe I’m wrong.

Maybe before I go to hell, before judgement is passed on me, I’ll get to watch the movie of my life.

Watching that movie, knowing what is awaiting me, I’ll smile the whole fucking time.