$16 Per Hour

Advice from my weekend:

Don’t head to food city Providence RI all willy-nilly and accept a reservation with a wait time of one hour forty five minutes, especially when you are paying a baby sitter 16 bones per hour.

Don’t accept said reservation with one hour forty five minute wait time then mosey to bar across street where scotch is $16 per glass, especially when you are paying a baby sitter 16 bones per hour.

Don’t, after having accepted reservation with wait time of one hour forty five minutes, drink scotch at $16 a glass then mosey back over to restaurant to check on reservation that hasn’t changed wait time, and realize that you are about to eat your hand, especially when you are paying a baby sitter 16 bones per hour.

Don’t call another restaurant and inquire about seats at bar where they tell you that if you get there “soon” they have two seats at the bar because you will inevitably drive in haste, pass the valet, turn off main drag, double back, hand off to valet, sprint to bar, only for them to tell you “the seats were just taken.” Especially when you are paying a baby sitter 16 bones per hour.

Don’t walk across street to, let’s face it, there-is-no-wait-for-a-reason restaurant, realizing you no longer want to eat your hand, but your whole arm, and order copious amounts of marbled meats and thick homemade pastas and realize you are thirsty from sprinting so hard to the last restaurant, that you take your wife’s wine recommendation (twice) to only later realize it is $25 a glass, especially when you are paying a baby sitter 16 bones per hour.

Don’t then have your wife tell you that same said wine is only $20 at your favorite restaurant, to which you wanted to go all along. 

Especially when you are paying a baby sitter 16 bones per hour.

Vandiehards©

If you follow any of my nonsense here you know that I possess absolutely no objectivity with regard to my children. None. Nada. Guilty as charged.

However, recall can be objectively measured and I feel safe in saying that Julian’s recall is downright kuh-ray-zee.

Example: on the lovely commute in to Providence (providence means god’s plan and in this case god plans for you to be stuck in traffic going 7 miles per hour on 95 north) this morning, I went to switch the radio station when Julian yells:

“No, turn it back. I want the rocker! That song was in Angry Birds.”

Ok. Analysis.

1.       He saw Angry Birds months ago and he only saw it once.

2.       The song was Paranoid by Black Sabbath and I know he hasn’t heard that since he saw Angry Birds, which again, was months ago.

So he sees a movie once, months ago, which contains a song for which only a portion is played, which was one of many in the movie, and somehow recalls all this months later after hearing just a few bars.

At this point you may be thinking Shannon, what the hell are you doing, letting the kid listen to Black Sabbath?

Anyhoo, this got me thinking about music on my lunchtime walk.

I thought about the fact that juju can distinguish genres of music which got me thinking about genres of music and how, when you think about it, Van Morrison is kinda his own genre. Which got me thinking about Astral Weeks which got me saying that first line:

“If I ventured into the slipstream…”

Ok. Analysis #2.

1.       Venture - a risky or daring journey or undertaking.

2.       Slipstream - an assisting force regarded as drawing something along behind something else.

Are you willing to venture into the slipstream, bold enough to go into the vacuum behind the body where you could feel weightless but can also fall out into the abyss?

Now Vandiehards© won’t disagree and there is a reason I named my last band Common One but for the neophytes let me offer the following for the van-love.

Jimmy Fallon’s first musical guest on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon was Van the man and when he was introducing him he talked about getting lost in Astral Weeks.

But be careful. You might get lost in Astral Weeks.

Postscript:

You might be wondering, what comes after “If I ventured into the slipstream”?

“Between the viaducts of your dreams.”

Out-pricing the Palate

Out-pricing the Palate

So celebrated the old bday with a dinner at Al Forno in God’s Plan Rhode Island. 

The meal was just incredible. And here’s a thought my wife and I had as we devoured our food. We paid 3x the price for a meal at Spago out in the city of angels and the food was nowhere near as good. 

But, when you look at a menu and there is a steak for $135, can the food ever live up to the price tag? Psychologically, I am skeptical.

There is a balancing act that restaurants must walk between pricing and customer satisfaction. 

Al Forno was better in all ways but one. Ambiance. Al Forno is loud and a little claustrophobic. 

But the food, my joe pesci man, the food. Worth being seated next to a hipster and his beard and overhearing the hullaballoo at the table across the room.

Before the end of the meal, I doubled down: “Book it, we are coming here for my next birthday!”

All Hail Al Forno!

The Go To

I recently celebrated a birthday with a fine meal at Al Forno in Providence. 

While we have been in Rhode Island for a number of years and have eaten out a considerable number of times, I think we were still looking for our “go to” establishment. No more, we have found the place.

When we were living in Athens Ohio we considered Lindy’s in German Village our go to place.

There are considerable differences between Lindy’s and Al Forno:

Lindy’s is the lone restaurant, nestled in a brick steet, historic neighborhood with hardly any nightlife nearby and has an expansive menu.

Al Forno is located on the Providence River near all the hub bub of Brown University and the heart of downtown with a more than ample number of restaurants nearby in this very culinary city and maintains a more limited menu.

 

So while the restaurants are different, I think what draws us to both is a happy middle. Both restaurants are vibrant and seemingly always at capacity yet a diner never feels crowded or cramped. Both possess a wait staff that offers an informality to the still table-clothed setting. Both are in the upper price range but it doesn’t feel exorbitant. Both have valet service but it is a matter of function over superficiality. The booze flows but with a sense of decorum. You wait a little for your food but in a good way like the way the headliner is a little fashionably late – just enough to make it taste better.

Now what cannot be in the middle in order to call a restaurant the “go to” is the food. Be it the Tournedos of Beef at Lindy’s or the Dirty Steak at Al Forno, you’ll be on top.

So if you find yourself near either capitol city, make it a point to hit these restaurants. You shant be disappointed.

Oh, and always try eating at the bar. Feels a little like you’ve been suspended but still at the party.