Showing posts with label Children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Children. Show all posts

Monday, July 16, 2018

Some Things...Have...Happened


Whoa.
Some things have happened dear readers.
For one birth has happened, for the third time.
Wait, what was the middle part again?
For two, birth happened in the form of Scarlett Sol.
Truth be told I wanted Sol from this George Carlin bit:

So I’m not getting a ton of sleep but it comes with the territory. Speaking of territories, what all came with the Gadsden purchase?
Did I mention we moved about two months before the birth?
We like to have all of our stressful life events at the same time. More efficient this way. I do the same with sit-ups. I do 1000 right in a row and I am good for the year.
Been reading some books on male friendship. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t exist.
Been trying to keep up with the running and 15 miles a week feels like 150 at this point. My legs were so dead after four miles yesterday we had a wake for them right there at the Y treadmill. I keep reminding myself like Dory in Finding Nemo: just keep running, just keep running. 




I know someday the tots will be able to dress, feed, and hygiene themselves and I’ll be able to ramp up the miles in lieu of friendships or guitar slinging.
You might like this guitar slinging but you might not. Either way, my hits on SoundCloud just went up. Sucker.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Objectivity Is Overrated

As a parent of two little ones, I can tell you that I have lost all objectivity when it comes to my children. Everything they do is the cutest things.

Why does this happen to parents?

The answer is too long.

Plus, there are pics like these: https://www.instagram.com/p/BFkohFYnlBY/

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

3/19/14 Monologue




Bill Nye the science guy recently debated creationist Ken Hamm about evolution and cosmology. 
They polled people to ask them who they thought won the debate. 
Americans got confused during the debate and voted overwhelmingly for the CBS sitcom the Big Bang Theory.



President Obama picked Michigan State to win the NCAA basketball championship. 
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie picked chicken wings in his bracket.



Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady are selling their 14,000 square-foot estate in Los Angeles for $50 million.
Gisele said “My husband can’t buy the house and live in the house.” 14,000 square feet!? Was Vince Wilfork going to rent there? And sell RV’s from the basement?!



Scientist now say that long-term sleep deprivation saps the brain of power even with days of recovery sleep, and that this could lead to lasting brain injury. 
I can finally blame my middle aged foggery on my toddler who didn’t sleep for 2 years. It’s got nothing to do with all the drugs and alcohol from my twenties… and thirties. Thanks a lot, children!

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