Peel Bananas Backwards

Camera Top Down Shot: A ballroom with everyone in fine dress, huge dancefloor

Camera In: couple talking

Her: Everything is an argument with you

Him: I don’t mean it to be

Her: The travesty is that though you don’t intend, still a travesty

Him: Not intending should count for something

Her: Yeah, in the wrong way

Him: Now who’s arguing, holding sway?

Her: See above

Him: What? The everything is an argument with me bit?

Her: Yes, tis the bit you argument causing twit.

Him: Takes two to tango

[Grabs her, spins her onto the dance floor, begins dancing]

Her: Tango is nice, arguing is for naught.

Him: Then let’s trip the light fantastic and forget we ever fought.

Her: You dance like a rhino on crutches

Him: Beats a fight

Her: Doesn’t make it right

Him: It beats being wrong

Her: If not dancing with you is wrong, I don’t wanna be right, even if it means not dancing with you all night long

Him: Say, who’s the contrarian here?

Her: Ask all you want, see where that gets you

Him: If I remember correctly, it got me you, that’s who

Her: You bore me with details

Him: It’s where the devil is

Her: And that business is his

Him: I’m gonna give you the business

Her: You’re already in the red

Him: Red with desire my dear, for you and you alone

Her: Alone, sounds good, why don’t you go see if you can peel bananas backwards…

[Enter interlocutor/would-be dancer]

Interlocutor/would-be dancer: May I cut in?

Him: What are you a barber, a nuclear surgeon?

Interlocutor/would-be dancer: I’m a dancer, quite good I might add.

Him: Hm, I see. Well I definitely subtract, you, right out of here

Interlocutor/would-be dancer: Oh come now, be a gentleman

Him: Oh I’m gentle, genteel even, but you aren’t dancing with my wife.

Her: You aren’t dancing with your wife you clumsy clam, you might as well have three feet and it would be nice if just one of them wasn’t on top of mine.

[Suddenly, he gracefully dips her and at the bottom of the dip, kisses her passionately]

[she is taken aback and out of breath from the kiss]

Her: Well with dips like that, who needs foreplay?

Interlocutor/would-be dancer: Why don’t I leave you two alone.

Him: Yeah, why don’t you go see if you can peel bananas backwards.

SCENE