Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Neophyte In Nawlins and other assorted Musings



It’s been a while since I have blogged for you. It’s been a while since I thought blog could be a verb, and the past tense blogged is just off the hook yo!


A lot has happened.


Visited the Big Easy. For the uninitiated the big easy is a gigantic easy quiz. Think a big life size check from the Price Is Right but instead of date, pay to the order of and all that, it is just a bunch of easy true/false questions like Water is Wet T F or Water Boils at a temperature of microwave oven T F or Donald Trump’s Hair is Real... Opossum T F. I kid, I visited New Orleans. And let me tell you, after two hours into your trip, when you see a woman place a 4 month-old baby onto a bar so that she can do two shots, you know you are in for a good time. Oh, did I forget to mention that I wasn’t in a bar but in a shopping mall? Yes, they live differently in New Orleans my friends. I just flew back from New Orleans and boy is my liver tired. Yes a hedonistic delight down there, once you whip out your machete and cut through the humidity only to find that once you get indoors, you need a parka because it is freezing in most establishments, which accounts for the gumbo, etouffee sales numbers, which coupled with the day round/week long/month entirety/year round drinking, accounts for the obesity. But I had a great time and ate a bunch of stuff I can’t pronounce like remoulade and drank a bunch of stuff I can’t remember, like remoulade. Hell, I even got to run around the Mercedes Benz Superdome (because we all know about the strong german contingent in Nawlins’ and the goose stepping at Mardi Gras) at 6:30am for a 5k without one single local yelling who dat!

(Geography note: The Mississippi River basically spans New Orleans to Canada.)


M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I - why do I feel like I need to pee, or do I just miss peeing? Weird. 

It was basically a moral imperative, even for this moral nihilist, to get beignets.
This is a shot of The Spotted Cat bar and Jamey St. Pierre & The Honeycreepers. They were a really soulful group and very tight, despite the fact that it was 3pm on a blistering, humid sunday afternoon. This to me, in my total New Orleans neophyte-ness, symbolizes New Orleans.



Read Bill Bryson’s The Life and Times of The Thunderbolt Kid. I don’t think I have devoured a book this way since Jonathan Franzen’s Freedom. I know, too much fiber devouring whole books like this. While not a child of the 60’s and not from Iowa, I found the book incredibly funny and did not mind the strange looks from the other hotel pool inhabitants as my laughs interrupted their imbibing. I also marveled out how Bryson could deftly place some historical stats to better give you a sense of the 60’s; especially the atomic age and the testing that occurred after WWII. 

Behold: the power of adjectives.


Speaking of WWII, New Orleans also houses the WWII museum. The museum is huge and it is actually rather hard to get through and feel like you learned a lot; this is because they theme the areas and try to make it feel like you are in the jungle via overhead trees and ambient nature noises or in a bombed out Germany with uneven flooring and dilapidated décor to match – which in the end just cramps things a bit too much on a crowded day. Ah but the saving grace of the museum is the Beyond All Boundaries movie. A really neat movie experience that, because you are seated and not pressed along through installments, feel like you are wiser on the other end. But but but, this is not, I repeat, not, a museum for kids. There is very graphic video at points throughout which include persons burned alive and shot in the back. Not for kids. 
Visitors could don the outfit for their own iconic shots. The kid before me said the shirt stunk. He was right.


Thursday, June 23, 2016

Hopes v Goals



Are hopes different from goals? Is daydreaming about things the same as hoping for those things? I think I mostly daydream about recognition and isn’t recognition, in the end, attention? Perhaps attention with merit? As a kid I probably hoped for athletic recognition but when that was thwarted by a tardy onset of puberty my hopes went backstage while goals took their call. I went on to college as an economically disadvantaged first generation college student. I didn’t hope for anything because I was too busy studying and reading in order to achieve my goal of graduating and being learn-ed. Off to graduate school on an academic scholarship where hopes, once again peeked out from behind the stage and whispered for goals to come on back, something about free drinks backstage probably. Hopes of being a college professor in philosophy remained just that because I wasn’t working to achieve goals. I was too busy filling one hand with hope and the other with fun to put in the work required. Like my dad used to say, “Put wishes in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up faster.”  So while my hopes were ultimately not met due to my actions, my goals were indeed achieved. I learned. A ton. I learned about my academic philosophy abilities and about my will power, and about my integrity or lack thereof, and about heartache, and about my personal resilience. I would go on to another graduate program and keep learning about these things and with more depth and substance as it relates to my direction in life.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Worry

I know some of you are worried about me getting old.
Too late.
I used the word "gosh" in a conversation this morning.

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Insidious Kind of Malaise



He was having a really hard time…considering therapy, trouble finding joy in things, in life, perhaps depressed. He knew it wasn’t an overarching, enveloping, insidious kind of malaise though. It was his troubled…he didn’t even want to say it. He wasn’t superstitious but he felt that if he admitted it, some kind of fruition was bound. He was under tremendous pressure. At times he felt like it might be too much and that he would breakdown, not be able to handle it and find himself institutionalized…but this scared him more than anything -the loss of autonomy. A troubled_____ was one thing but it still allowed for some degree of autonomy.

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Radical Belief




Talking to myself about “radical”
Important word…
especially today, in light of recent events…
and lets add on “belief”…
radical belief….
Hmmm, I think that I die, that is, that I cease living…
Is this radical seeing that most people don’t believe this…
Does radical belief then come down to a numbers game…
What MOST people believe…
Or does logic or truth or fact dictate radical belief…
Hmmm, seems evident that I die, I have this instinct to live but why would I have it…why would I have a fight or flight response if I never really die…
So strange…that most people believe they are immortal and never die…
Isn’t this a radical belief…
so odd…
what other radical beliefs might flow from believing you never die…
I mean how could life have value if it never ends…
Life can’t be precious if it’s always available, never ending…
Maybe if believing we are immortal leads to the idea that life is cheap on this plane…
And can therefore easily be taken, ended, shot up, cut up, blown up, sniffed out, burned out???

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