Kelly F-in Olynyk

Is this the guy that is going to prevent the first Cleveland Championship since 1964? 

This guy? 

Now I am not saying that any championship starved Cleveland native, be it gangbanger, roided-out weightlifter, small arms specialist, karate black belt, or former marine should in any way shape or form bring any harm to Kelly Olynyk like a crow bar to the knee or a cement block to the windpipe or a signed Albert Belle bat to the right temple. I am not saying that. Nor am I saying that in the future Kelly Olynyk could be subject to hard fouls as in multiple fractures of the humerus or ulna or radius hard fouls. Hear me now, I am not saying that. Unequivocally I am completely and in all ways against any future Cleveland Cavaliers undercutting Kelly Olynky with the hopes of causing severe ligament damage to any and or all important ligaments in the knee, ankle or spinal cord region. How many more times must I say that I am not saying this? This sort of non-basketball-play-retaliation is immoral, unethical and would probably harm the Celtics chance of a future championship.

But they might not have room for another banner anyway.

Worm Bellies

Here was a man who thought about epistemology, thought about it in relation to what many call politics and by extension, morality, or ethics if you prefer the non-objectivist mode. Cause when you get down to it, down to the bottom, where the worms hang out and the truth sits under their bellies, one has to know the truth, one has to know how one came to that truth, and one has to know how to do it again.

It’s Tony Danza’s Birthday!

It’s Tony Danza’s Birthday today. 

The top 5 perks of being Tony Danza:

5. As a former boxer he can still take a punch from Judith Light.

4. Acclaimed role in the hit sit-com Taxi made it easy for him to secure a position with Uber.

3. As Director and Star of Mamamia, he has a place in the heart of every Italian mother ever to be in a pasta sauce commercial.

2. Having starred opposite Kevin Spacey in The Iceman Cometh, has a framed picture with Keyser Söze.

1. Is the only person Marilu Henner has ever forgotten.

Britt McHenry Mctowed

This Britt McHenry episode is fascinating. Raise your hand if you haven’t had your car towed. Put your hand down, I don’t like you. It truly is a terrible feeling to have your car towed. I’ve had mine towed a couple of times and your heart drops when you don’t see your car where you last left it; we love our cars, are attached to our cars, belong to our cars and vice versa. So when it is gone and your means of transport are gone, you, at least I, become very ungrounded. Here is what I remember about my car towings: there were definitely signs posted letting me know I was not allowed to park there…but I rolled the dice. People can talk about “predatory towing” all they want, till the cows come home, till they are blue in the face but I ask you, deep down in your heart of hearts, deep down in places you don’t like to talk about at cocktail parties, did you see a sign? Did you roll the dice?

You did.

Britt McHenry did.

Now because I rolled the dice, I ponied up the dough, and much like Jim Carrey in Lair Liar, took it up the tailpipe without a peep.

Britt though, not so much. Couldn’t reign in the chance to insult someone who had a role in creating that horrible feeling that descends into your blood when your car is towed. The perception is that Britt came across like an immature bully, hurling personal insults like a glorified prom queen mad at the unpopular/pretty/artist/towing employee girl for getting a glance from the quarterback.

And soooo, ESPN suspended her for a week and there are calls for her to be fired. All of which is noise that will soon be drowned out by the next news story, be it a plane crash or a Bono broken bone or a bounce house flying away from a kids party.

Are they (Heidegger’s Das Man – from the german) judging Britt McHenry? Hell yes. For the right thing? Who cares? The towing employee is going to move on with her life and maybe she’ll even be able to afford veneers and weightwatchers after this as a result of some kickstarter for her and Britt will get on with her life and continue to spout meaningless minutae behind a microphone while secretly wondering “am I double parked?”

Confused and Apologetic About The Boy In You - Stuart Dybek

Funny but after two of my posts today I continued my lunchtime reading of a collection of short stories from Stuart Dybek entitled The Coast of Chicago. Death of The Right Fielder hit me hard in context of my two, serious/not serious/kinda serious posts today, especially the last paragraph of ugly truth:

                "As for us, we walked back, but by then it was too late – getting on to supper, getting on to the end of summer vacation, time for other things, college, careers, settling down and raising a family. Past thirty-five the talk starts about being over the hill, about a graying Phil Niekro in his forties still fanning them with the knuckler as if it’s some kind of miracle, about Pete Rose still going in headfirst at forty, beating the odds. And maybe the talk is right. One remembers Willie Mays, forty-two years old and a Met, dropping that can-of-corn fly in the ’73 Series, all that grace stripped away and with it the conviction, leaving a man confused and apologetic about the boy in him. It’s sad to admit it ends so soon, but everyone knows those are the lucky ones. Most guys are washed up by seventeen."

Is all truth ugly? When did you wash up?