I'll Be Damned

Consider this from George Saunders' Essay The New Mecca in The Braindead Megaphone:

“And the kids keep coming. On their faces: looks of bliss, the kind of look a person gets when he realizes he is in the midst of doing something rare, that might never be repeated, and is therefore of great value.”

Heaven is commonly understood as eternal life and moreover, constant, immediate wish fulfillment.

Now contrast Heaven with the logic in Saunders. 

If your life never ends it isn’t rare – at all. If you can do anything, have anything, immediately, forever, none of these doings can have value. Time isn’t rare and fulfillment isn’t rare in heaven. 

What is rare in heaven? The damned. The only damned thing of value in heaven is the damned. 

Well I’ll be damned, just not in heaven.

(Something is of value if and only if it is rare. Value and rarity have the same truth value. Therefore if it isn’t of great value, it isn’t rare and if it isn’t rare it isn’t of value.)

Immortality

“It ends, can’t you admit that? It’s finite, you are finite, you end, there are bounds there are limits and they apply to you too and it’s not a bad thing. How could it be? How could you value something limitless, if even a life? On and on, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare, on and on it goes, nothing rare…