Killin' Adjectives

I’m reading Ben Yagoda’s When You Catch An Adjective, Kill It and want to pass on something I lernt from the book.

Yes, lernt.

When should I use who as opposed to whom you ask.

If you shift around the words in the sentence and can use him or her, then whom is used, and if he or she is called for, then use who.

She was so nice she cleaned up the cat vomit.

So…

Who cleaned up the cat vomit?

Or…

It all came down to her.

And…

Whom did it come down to?

More fun than a squirrel in yer shorts.

Will I remember this little nugget? Prolly not but there is always hope.

Better yet, will you remember this little nugget?

I guess we’re asking whom will remember this little nugget.

JK😁

Breakings

Night was in full force in Athens. The crux of evening was sharp and breaching – people were going to fall on one side and some were going to get hurt in falling. Uncovered skin was cold now and hair raised on bodies for balance. Nuance is the order of the day when light permeates conversations and shadows are thin and temporary but breakings are the umbrella of night, especially for those whose hearts have yet to die.

Cut Me Mick

I'm getting old. And [record scratch]...conservative.

Well you tell me if you think this is [woman screaming]...conservative.

I decided to pop on the new sitcom The Mick on demand, as the trailers looked decent and a little raunchy. Not to be confused with ranchy, like the dressing you love so much.

So I watch the first one and it was pretty funny, laughed out loud a few times.

I think a couple of nights later I flip on the second one and it's moving along but as part of the plot, the youngest child character on the show, a boy around 8 or 9 or 10 I would guess, takes a bunch of birth control pills after his Aunt explained how they are her "magic pills" or something to that effect.

This made me wince and physically uncomfortable. [car crash sound]

The character's mood swings as a result of taking the pills were not enough comedic payoff for me to appreciate the plot line.

The episode was otherwise ok, semi-entertaining, so a few nights later I navigate the on-demand for another installment.

In this one cigarette smoking and trying to quit is central to the plot and this time the boy wrecks on his bicycle and sustains some major scrapes and scratches. His older brother searches the medical kit at home and bandages him up. Only problem is, they aren't bandages but nicotine patches the maid placed in the kit due to her embarrassment from smoking.

This made me wince and physically uncomfortable. Again. [guillotine drop]

Would I have laughed at this sort of stuff in my teens, twenties, thirties?

It's not exactly like the innocuous stuff/fluff from the Files of Police Squad or even the new Angie Tribeca. I get that.

But am I warranted in my visceral reaction?

Due to [broken window, gunshot] getting older?

Gasp!

Being There - Until Your Dissociative Fugue

I just finished Being There by Jerzy Kosinski and it was a delightful little novel. I admired the pacing: in a matter of pages a simple minded gardener goes from homeless to being present with the president of the United States but it never felt forced or contrived…as if a play on the title of the book. The plot reminds me of a Woody Allen quotation: [paraphrasing] “80% of success is showing up.” And it is also funny and poignant (research backs this up - which is why people pay for likes on youtube and facebook) how Kosinsky draws the main character, Chance, into the being the icon of the fallacy ad populum. Once, popular, nothing he says can be wrong and it is HI-larious.

via GIPHY

But one line hit me hard:

“A man’s past cripples him. His background turns into a swamp and invites criticism.”

Ah, what must be the power of a dissociative fugue and waking up in Nebraska with no past to invite

criticism. I kid, sort of.

Of course, most people know of the movie with Peter Sellers which I now have to put into the queue. And while I figure I will appreciate the movie, I feel confident it will not come near his performance in Murder By Death. His character Sidney Wang tells little jokes like:

“Talk, like television in Honeymoon suite, very unnecessary.”

And one line in the movie goes unfinished so I ask you to provide the punch line:

"Treacherous road like fresh mushroom, must always…"

Objects in Rear View Mirror, Including the End of Civilization, Are Closer Than They Appear

So student comes in this morning and tells me his tale of woe:

[Paraphrasing]

“Sorry for my tone but I just got pulled over for a speeding ticket, was doing 80 in a 65. I tell the cop that I was only going with the flow of traffic and that I actually had to speed up to get over to the right lane and then the side. He starts telling me it’s not about the flow of traffic, it’s about the posted speed and says that I’m giving him guff (or maybe he said “lip”) and he writes me a ticket for speeding and for being in the left lane too long!”

So he rambled a little bit more about this and how he has to go to court, and taking time off work, and insurance rates and how it IS about the flow of traffic and yadi yadi yada and then he slipped this little nugget in:

[Again, paraphrasing]

“Never mind the fact that I was playing a video game. I wouldn’t have minded a ticket for distracted driving or texting or whatever.”

I cut him off to the effect of:

“You were doing 80 and playing a video game?”

His look: what’s your point?

Then:

…

Me:

So enjoy your commute home tonight, knowing that Joe Student out there is not only flying by you doing 80 but also trying to get a high score in Bejeweled.

Too Authentic

I just finished Dalton Trumbo’s Johnny Got His Gun and…

War, what is it good for?

As my father used to say, no one wins in a real fight.

Trumbo conducted an incredible thought experiment and like a great actor he stayed in character. He must’ve bled, anguished, and experienced madness as he wrote this book. Otherwise he couldn’t have written this book. It is too authentic.

The book truly frightened me in parts; made me feel incredibly claustrophobic…

                for the future, for a possible future.

The plot in the book resolved around the Christmas holiday.

As we sit here January 4 2017 I can’t help but think that not a whole lot has changed.

Is there a collective resolve? Do laws reflect collective resolve? Do we just need more time and a flatter earth for our moral circle to expand or will there always be enough in-group out-group ideology to birth war?