More exercises from Mel Helitzer's Comedy Writing Secrets
Complete the ole lightbulb joke in a triple:
How many Politicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Three:
One senator to hold the ladder, one house member to screw in the bulb, and one president
to veto the electric bill.
How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? It
takes three: one to draw up the papers, one to fall off the ladder, and one to
sue.
How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb? Three:
one to stand on the ladder, one to hold up the bulb, and one to charge you an
arm and a leg.
How many LA Cops does it take to change a lightbulb? Three:
One to hold the ladder, one to screw in the bulb, and one to lie to internal
affairs.
How many auto mechanics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three: one to hold the ladder, one to screw in the bulb, and one to lube the
chassis for $49.99
Finish these:
Someone did a study of the three most often heard phrases in
NYC. One is “hey taxi.” Two is “What train do I take to get to Bloomingdales?”
And three is… “Take the friggin’ taxi to Bloomingdales.”
I like Florida; everything is in the eighties: the
temperature, the ages, and…remaining teeth.
Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong, and… willing to wipe up after.
Making love to a woman is like buying real estate…the best
part is getting rid of the for sale
sign.
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