Thursday, March 26, 2015

Haikus or Low Coos, Either Way You Lose





One word begonia
Two more words chrysanthemum
Really miss Lilly

Guitar strings and picks
Groupies, hangers-on, and pricks
Sure beats the drum sticks

One two three four five
And Six seven eight nine ten
Sans nill fits the bill

Star Wars! Boba Fett?
Nerf Herder, Ton-Ton, Minoch
Hyperdrive needs fixed

Wish I was Irish
Or polish or Asian-ish
Honor accidents

Campus center sign
Isn’t “center” relative?
Everything is relative

Bark for me doggie
Meow for me kitty cat
Oink for me. Uncle!

Break glass in case of
Fire, no wait don’t shoot me I
Am unarmed, unlegged

I don’t need your tude
Today or tomorrow see?
But I do need cash

What if dog spelled cat
What if if connoted then
If: biggest. Word. Done.


Think This haiku sucks?
Maybe you suck at sucking
Ever think of that?

I’ll let you know soon
Like a few days, week the most
Buying time with words

I know this girl, she
Can put her toe in her ear
But then she can’t hear

I know this girl, she
Can barely lift her two arms
And she is harmless

I know this grill, can
Sear marks on your favrite steak
Who the hell is Mark?

Before god there was
God who necessitated
A God who got you

But don’t fret my friend
I have your interests in mind
But I’m psychotic


Snap chat google text
Pintrest twitter vine youtube
All with real fake bots

Speaking of phony
Did you hear about the star
Who had ear implants?

Machines do the work
Industry is feigned sooooo much
Feigning is hard work

Botched the surgery
Now I can’t eat an apple
Didn’t Eve eat that?

Pork pork pork pork pork
Is that all you ever eat?
Pork means sex you dolt!

These aren’t so highbrow
But who gives a shit, not me
Funny is funny

Speaking of feces
Did you hear about the craps
Game I rolled a nine

This is the last one
I promise, no more haikus
How bout a limerick?

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