Who Are You To F With Karma?

Just who do you think you are? What kind of ego and, dare I say it, chutzpah, must you have to fuck with karma? Have you been hiding under a rock for a millennia?

Ok, you wanna claim ignorance, claim ignorance. You know what they say about ignorance though. NO, you don’t know, because you’re ignorant!

Ignorance is no excuse. You could’ve messed with sasquatch but NoooOOOooo, you went and messed with karma and karma, my fickle friend, is a beast unlike anything Marshawn Lynch has ever seen.

Here’s what happened:

You were going about your day, when low and behold, driving home from wherever it is you loiter, you notice it, smack dab in the middle of the road, splayed open like a gutted deer in an west Virginia kindergarten, a wallet.

Huh, you think. So you stop your car and mosey on over to take a looksee.  You pick it up and open the cash drawer on the thing and there it is, moolah! Quite a bit of moolah for someone like you. more than nough to fund more than a few scratch offs, a six of nattie light, and some taco bell.

You are excited but what do you go and do, you think about it. And you mull it over, and you run scenarios in the feeble organ you like to call a brain. Should I shouldn’t I? What would Kant do? What would Kanye do? Remember the categorical imperative. You moralizing dolt…you decide to return the wallet and not only the wallet but all those sweet greenbacks.

You are doing the right thing you think, the ethical thing, the moral thing, the thing Kant would have done via the categorical imperative.

But you’ve completely fucked it up!

You see, karma had a plan for the wallet loser, mainly losing his wallet and dough. You remember karma right? What goes around comes around? Good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people? K-a-r-m-a with a K? Ringing any bells?

This dude is bad and I mean bad as in bad not bad as in good. This dude is a lawbreaker, heartbreaker, drug taker, orgasm faker and karma was about to render some karma style justice until you stepped in.

He was about to get his comeuppance, lose his wallet, money, and chipotle gift card because of heinous acts he committed but noooOOOooo, you intervene and stop justice right in its tracks.

Don’t you see, this was the going around that was coming around? Karma was about to do its thing.

I fear for you. Karma has you in its sights now. Be careful, tread lightly, you may want to hunker down for a day or year or two.

Next time, heed karma, and go get yourself some taco bell with your free money.

Taco Bell, speaking of what goes around, comes around.

[serious questions for people:

How is one supposed to know when karma is depending on your actions to be a part of the "what goes around, comes around"  equation? 

Who knew that karma and morality could be mutually exclusive?]