The Runner’s Smoothie – Another Cautionary Tale

Most runners like to, what we call, replenish, after a good long run and many replenish with, what many call, a smoothie.

A smoothie is a concoction of various substances like frozen and non-frozen fruits such as blueberries and/or bananas and perhaps, yogurt, either flavored or non, and also juices or liquids of some sort, many of which aim to, what we call, we being runners, replenish, what we call, electrolytes, that are, what we call, lost during long runs.

Now, the mechanism used to create, what we call our, smoothies, varies. Some will use a blender. Some will use a hand held mixer, just like the one you have in your cabinet. You may use yours for soups but us runners, we use it, for what we call, our smoothies. Still others will use what is called a food processor. All mechanisms blend the substances, or what some culinary minded might call, ingredients, into a smooth, drinkable, well, drink. That is how the name, smoothie, came about.

Of the mechanisms involved, be it blender, hand held mixer, or food processor, there is always the issue of what many call, clean up, after concocting the aforementioned, aptly named, smoothie.

One of the reasons, many, let us call them, smoothie makers, opt for blenders or hand held mixers, is the ease of clean up with these particular smoothie making mechanisms.

Clean-up as it is called is much more, perhaps involved, is the right word, with a food processor. A food processor has more parts than either the blender or the food processor. This is why clean up, as it is called, is more, involved. More parts equals, as they say, more clean up.

One of the more difficult parts in cleaning a food processor, after making a smoothie designed to restore electrolytes after a long run, is cleaning the blade and the plastic that houses the blade, especially underneath the housing unit, of the blade. Cleaning the plastic pieces that help to contain the elements, or ingredients, during smoothie making, is easy, or less involved than cleaning the food processor blade and blade housing unit, especially underneath the housing unit. Simply rinsing the, let us call them containing units, or pieces, and placing them in an electronic dishwasher for further cleansing involves less work than cleaning the food processor blade and plastic housing unit. The blade and plastic housing unit need to be cleaned by hand. Hence the term, more involved.

Cleaning the food processor blade and housing unit, especially underneath, or what could be called the backside, requires special care. Very special care. In using the food processor, over the blender or hand held mixer to make a smoothie for after a long run to replace lost electrolytes, left over, or what could be called, remaining, substances, can remain in the, what will now be called the blade housing unit, if not properly, carefully cleansed, by hand, due to the fact that sharp blades should not be cleansed in an electronic dishwasher because they dull the blade.

Recently, a smoothie was made, in a food processor, after a long run, to help restore lost electrolytes, lost during the long run but, care had not been taken during previous hand held washings, or cleansings if you prefer, of the blade housing unit. Because of the careless, less-than-vigilant hand held washings of the blade housing unit, remaining substances from a previous smoothie, now rotten and toxic, clinging to the underside of the blade housing unit, found themselves, inserted, or a part of the, now, currently-being-made-almost-about-to-be-drank smoothie. To restore lost electrolytes. 

These, as previously called, remaining substances, now toxic and rotten and old, entered into the blood stream of the drinker of the smoothie, in an attempt to restore lost electrolytes, causing abdominal pains and stomach cramps in the stomach of the drinker of the smoothie who was merely attempting to restore lost electrolytes after a long run. The long run was seven miles in distance. Perhaps not meeting the definition of a “long run” for many runners, but meeting the definition for the runner who made the smoothie that was drank.

In addition to stomach cramps and abdominal pain, there occurred frequent trips to the bathroom, or what some in England, or the United Kingdom, might call the loo. This could, perhaps somewhat humorously, be spelled, L-O-U. After many hours, enduring pains and cramps and frequent trips to the L-O-U, even including and up until, the middle of the night, defined by some as up to but not after 1:00 a.m. eastern standard time, the pains and cramps and frequent trips to the bathroom subsided, allowing for much deserved, pain-free rest after a long run, of seven miles. The seven miles were run in 55:45 for those interested in pacing the run.

Later, upon review of the blade housing unit, there was spotted, rotted, left over from a previous smoothie, ingredients, probably in this case, frozen blueberries, on the underside of the blade housing unit. It has been determined that these, left over, remaining, turned toxic ingredients were to blame for the abdominal cramps, stomach pains, and frequent trips to the bathroom. As a result, more care will be taken to, hand held, clean the blade housing unit, especially, underneath, where substances or ingredients might attach and rot and fester and enter into the digestive system of a runner merely hoping to replace lost electrolytes lost during a “long run” of seven miles, in 55:45.

It has been gleaned, or learned, that a qtip, usually reserved for cleaning ear wax, or a small wire brush, often called a bottle cleaning brush, is the best implement, or implements, plural, to clean the blade housing unit, especially underneath.