Figuratively or Literally

“I didn’t think it would happen to me either” he said. 

He figured his son was listening so he better make it good.

“But, and I know this sounds easy, things change. You, you are in the prime of life, at the pinnacle of your powers. How you like that? Pinnacle of powers! Seriously, you are at your absolute best right now, which makes it hard to imagine you’ll be anything but. Alas, when things begin to fade, for me anyway, even though I lamented it in my own parents, I got conservative.”

“But-

Raising a finger, “Hold on a sec. Just let me, I’ve got the floor here now. Now truth be told, it may not happen to you but keep in mind if it does, it may not necessarily be a bad thing. It is not like I went out and became religious or suddenly embraced the republican party or anything that radical but I did, just reign it in a little. Thought more about life insurance, more about the future and get this, not my future, but yours! Thought about if something happens to me, how that impacts you. How can that be bad? Thinking about others?”

The son was astute for his age. “It’s only bad if it involves hypocrisy.”

Interrupting, “oh hypocrisy, schmypocrisy! There are worse things than being hypocritical. Cancer is never hypocritical and aneurisms never renege but it doesn’t mean I want to make them my best friend. Consistency is great but it’s an ideal, a Platonic form, not realizable in the material, dare I say it, human world. You remember Liar Liar, everybody lies! And guess what, everybody is hypocritical. Humans, those dicks, all too human.

The son was astute for his age. “Dad, you told me I could go on the trip and now you’re telling me I can’t. I don’t care about Plato. I think it’s great you care about me and I also think you trust me. Notice my usage of the ‘and’ instead of the ‘but’ there? Huh huh? Feels more inclusive doesn’t it. Notice how I challenge with essentially a question? Pretty savvy for an imperfect little dick like me. Look, you are afraid of what could happen because I’ll be gone for an entire weekend, and I’m a teenager, and even though we’ve had numerous talks about all the important stuff, you are worried. I get it. And I know you realize I made plans, and those plans made other people make plans, which impacted even more plans…

The dad began to fidget, like he always does when he feels threatened, and losing…

...plans of other parents just like you, who are worried just like you, and are still going to honor their word, unlike you. Notice the use of ‘and’ again? Savvy huh?"

There was definitely a pregnant pause.

The ole man looked at his son with envy and disdain; the son looked at his ole man with smarm and youth. Neither combination for either of them was honorable or authentic.

The son was fully planning a weekend of hedonism and debauchery to rival Nero and the ole man knew it or thought he knew but hoped he didn’t know it or knew he didn’t hope it. Either way, someone was going to lose.

What would be lost? Depends on whom you ask. Remember how the plans impacted plans bit the son rolled out? Well here’s the thing the son didn’t know: in his lame pseudo savvy plea, the actions he would take over that weekend would impact his life and previous plans of his parents. Previous plans that would be uprooted and shredded, minced to a soiled mass resembling nothing of a bright future with top law schools or three car garages or early retirement…resembling nothing of strolls thought the park of life, figuratively or literally.