What's A Hero?

 On a run the other morning I thought about Jackie Robinson.

I don't know a ton about Jackie Robinson; a little more than the casual baseball fan I would guess. The Ken Burns 'Baseball' documentary enlightened me a bit and the movie 42 followed what I learned from the documentary. These coupled with the book I read to my sons (who are in full baseball obsession mode at the moment) Jackie and Me by Dan Gutman solidified my view that Jackie Robinson was a hero.

Despite the question the Coen brothers ask in The Big Lebowski, What's A Hero?

Well, in my estimation Jackie Robinson is a hero because of what he did...for so many others...at great cost to himself.

Now what got me on my run the other morning was how I compared Jackie Robinson, who's life was so clearly cut short because of the stress from breaking the color barrier in baseball, to my parents.

Now my parents were not heroes, to many, but their lives were most definitely cut short from the stress of raising six children in abject poverty. One of the things that slaps me in the face most days is how fortunate my children are: food to eat, clothes to wear, resources like health insurance and dental coverage. Most of this is provided by my wife just so we're clear, but the children are fortunate and, gulp, privileged. 

Despite my own generational poverty trauma I carry and I impose upon them indirectly.

So my parents had no resources and still managed to get us out of childhood alive. Maybe not mentally/emotionally top-tier, but breathing and operating on a level with the average citizen. Again, they did this with no resources. No safety net (no health insurance, no dental coverage), no net to catch parents falling with six children in tow. Did I mention we were all crammed into a 2 bedroom house. 2 bedrooms. Our current home has 4 full baths. 

Imagine the mental toll. I honestly can't. I hate taking my car for an oil change because I fear news that x is broken and its going to cost y, even though I have a little money saved.

What the fuck is it like to avoid going to the doctor for an entire life because you just can't afford it? What is it like to get up and go to work even though you are sick as a dog? Cory Booker, in an interview with Jon Stewart, talked about how a speeding ticket can ruin people working in a gig industry. My father was self-employed and if he didn't work, he didn't eat - no personal days, no vacation days, no sick days, no my kid has this or that day. Work, or else. 

That's pressure.

That's stressful.

It shortens lives.

So my parents died early. 

Did they die heroes?

I don't know. 

What's a hero?