A Lot Like Earth

Had a dream last night that I was on Colbert’s show after he read this blog post of mine. He wanted to take issue with the importance of the something bigger than me idea. And we’re doing a little back and forth with requisite repartee and I must admit, in the dream, I was crushing it. And we end up talking about heaven and here was the exchange:

Me: What kind of crazy stuff are you going to wish for in heaven? A threesome perhaps? Relive some college days?

Colbert: Oh no no no no, my wife won’t stand for that even in heaven.

Me: Your wife can interrupt your wishes in heaven?

Colbert: Oh yes yes yes.

Me: Wow, heaven sounds a lot like earth. What is the point of heaven if it isn’t any different from earth?

Colbert: All the food is amazing.

Me: Mmmm, delicious. But you know what Leibnitz said about that?

Colbert: Fran Lebowitz…who did you say?

Me: Leibnitz, the philosopher and by the way, the co-inventor of calculus, if you must know. Leibnitz said that actually, this world, with all the suffering and horror and tragedy, and yes even non-delicious food, is actually the best of all possible worlds. Can’t get any better.

Colbert: Even with the existence of your 0-16 Cleveland Browns, this is the best of all possible worlds?

Me: Oh yeah. For Leibnitz, god was perfect and Leibnitz didn’t joke around with god’s perfection. And Leibnitz hung tough when he said only perfect creations can happen from a perfect being…so yeah, even with the Browns, this world is perfect. Heaven, you might say.

Colbert: I’m not getting a threesome am I?