Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Tat for Tit



He who hesitates is lost
-haste makes waste

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink
-more for me

No pain no gain
-gained about 15 lbs over the holidays…pain free

Familiarity breeds contempt
-which can be costly in court

Nothing ventured, nothing gained
-again, I ventured nowhere over the holidays and gained a good 15lbs

You snooze you lose
-lose what, the car keys, in my sleep…won’t they be where I left them?

Hindsight is 20/20
-what is foresight, 80/80?

An ounce of honey beats a bucket of gull
-who in their right mind is trying to coax anybody with ground up seagull?

They only grease the wheel that squeaks
-as a unicyclist, this doesn’t help me

“If” is the biggest word in the dictionary
-what happened to antidisestablishmentarianism?

An apple a day keeps the doctor away
-a fresh head of garlic keeps everyone away

Little children should be seen not heard
-when they sing off key, that shit is annoying

You break it you bought it
-how much for this wishbone?

No shirt, no shoes, no service
-especially the produce section

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