Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Foot The Bill



“What would you do if you were in my shoes?”

“Probably fall, your feet are gigantic. Where do you get your shoes anyway, a clown shop?”


“Seriously, I have a dilemma here, what would you do?”

“I know you have a dilemma, look at your friggin’ feet. You probably need custom made shoes and those babies can’t be cheap. Should I try to make my own shoes, to save some dough? Maybe just wrap my feet in a tent and duct tape it all around? Buy four pair of shoes and cobble them together somehow?”


“Should I break up with her or not? What do you think?”

I think you should audition for those Messin’ with Sasquatch commercials, that’s what I think.


“Can you please get serious for a moment?”

“I am serious. You’re not going to win an Oscar but the bucks you make from those commercials can help pay for your clown shoes.”


“Look man, I need to piss or get off the pot here, she is dropping some pretty serious hints.”

“Well those hints aren’t gonna hit the floor with those giant feet around. Wait a second, forget Sasquatch. Get yourself in one of those Hobbit movies – they won’t even have to cg your feet. And you know they are going to make another one. I’m calling my agent.”


“How do I know she’s the one man!?”

“You don’t man. But you do know she hasn’t said a word about your feet and that’s gotta mean something.”


“She said if I ever got a pedicure, they would get paid for overtime.”

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