It has been a very long time since
I have performed music in front of anything resembling a crowd. (Some stuff
from the two thousands: https://myspace.com/theathensfusioncollective/music/songs)
In fact, about 8 months ago I decided to sell a bunch of performance type gear
in order to be able to buy an imac, knowing that the family man I am, would have
to focus on recording music in lieu of performing. We are talking about parting
with thousands of dollars’ worth of equipment that I used over the course of
multiple bands and recording ventures – in summation, not easy to part with for
nostalgic reasons mostly. Oddly enough I got an email recently inviting me to
perform at a church where the quote unquote crowd could number in the double
digits! -Circa 12 at most. And while that is at once satisfying and puts a
little of the good butterflies in my stomach, it can’t compare to what happened
this morning.
The baby had gone to sleep and Mom
was upstairs getting ready so it was just me and the toddler in the living room
with Curious George. Knowing I have the church gig coming up I decided to grab
the acoustic and run through a tune or two for kicks and giggles. I recently
learned Bruno Mars’ When I Was Your Man
and am contemplating it for the church gig. So I grab the acoustic from the
dining room and stroll into the living room and run through the first verse and
chorus when my toddler, who I thought was paying absolutely no attention to me,
turned toward me and said “do it again.” I smiled as wide as the Panama Canal
and said “oh, you want another verse, sure thing buddy!” Now the little guy has
liked some of the things I’ve picked in the past but never really requested anything.
So while I know I’m no musician and
certainly shouldn’t even be trying to sing Bruno Mars, I’m officially taking
requests.
She was fresh out of the shower
sitting on the couch in her expensive robe (Nordstrom’s if memory serves) when
her phone rang. She looked at the phone, paused, looked away from the phone, and
then decided to answer. She never smiled during the conversation but she never
looked upset either. The call lasted about five minutes. After the call she
flopped her back down onto the couch; her robe almost opened enough. She laid
there about a minute with her hand on her forehead; most of her legs exposed
but at the wrong angle. She wasted our time laying there thinking about
whatever it was she was thinking about. What the fuck? Finally she sat up and
turned on the tv. If she isn’t going to please either of us, the least she
could do is turn on the tv so we can be entertained if not pleased. She flipped
through the channels for a while, finally settling on the movie The Last of the
Mohicans with Daniel Day Lewis and Madeleine Stowe. I’m glad she got a bigger
tv about a year ago. At one point she got up to go to the bathroom so I could
finally stretch my legs; they had fallen asleep and the chance to move was
welcomed. I didn’t need to go the bathroom because I use the adult diapers when
I watch her.
I just wanted to let you know that
I am still basking in the glow from our date yesterday. You have me on cloud nine after our
get-together. I know you would have preferred to be outside on such a glorious
day but given the length of time from our last date I am glad you agreed to
meet me on the treadmill – just better for me right now given my conditioning. And
while 9am isn’t exactly prime date time, given my yard work duties in the
afternoon, I am glad we made the best of it. Wow, hard to believe we had over
an hour alone together; just you and me, step after step, mile after mile. I was
determined to spend time with you Long Run and while I am a little sore today,
as John “Cougar” Mellencamp once sang, It
Hurts So Good. Indeed Long Run, indeed. I hope this is the turning of a
corner for me Long Run and the start of consistent get togethers again. I am
vowing here and now to see you at least once a month Long Run, wait, once every
two months, 3 tops Long Run, 3 tops… You are too good for me not to see you
that often.
I hope this letter
finds you well. Alas, I am writing you with the gravest of concerns. As the new
Browns coach I am quite certain you are aware that since the year 1995 the
Browns have averaged 5 wins a season with a winning percentage of about 32% with
no playoff appearances. Almost two decades of abysmal football. Contrast this
with the New England Patriots who have averaged 10 wins a season with 14
playoff appearances, 6 Super Bowl appearances, 3 Super Bowl victories (in 4
seasons, two back-to-back), and blah blah blah. It does indeed seem that the
Browns have some sort of losing disease, some sort of contagious malady the
spreads year after year after year after year infecting anyone who dons a
Browns jersey. And here’s the thing Mike Pettine, despite the rhetoric, this
fan wonders if the players believe, truly, authentically, believe they can win.
This and only this will make the losing disease, curable. And this, making
players believe is your exercise in psychology. This is your cross to bear Mike
Pettine, your burden, to make players believe they are capable of winning. This
is easier said than done Mike Pettine. If you don’t believe me, please see the
stats above. And while the season is 16 games and while there is no silver
bullet, no panacea to cure the losing disease, I deplore you to channel your
energy into the first game. Yes, September 7th 2014 against the
Steelers of Pittsburgh is the microcosm of what is to be Mike Pettine and that
is why this day and this day alone, the utmost effort must be expelled to cure
the disease. I do believe your predecessors did not accept/realize this fact.
Think of it as a matter of breeding: losses breed losses and wins breed wins…and
does it not, all start with the first game, that all important commencement
that, like it or not, “sets the tone” for the season? Accept this Mike Pettine.
Accept this and be liberated. I recall Pat Shurmer muttering something about “This
doesn’t have to be fatal” after a 2011 opening day loss to the Cincinnati
Bengals. But believe me Mike Pettine, it will be fatal, as it was for Shurmur; the
disease will remain un-curable, the belief in ability gone, a self-fulfilling
prophecy sealed; just awaiting time for the destiny to be reached. The first
game Mike Pettine, focus on this, for this is the fulcrum, for this is the time
to set a tone of winning Mike Pettine, pull out all the stops, do not fear
putting all of your eggs into this one basket for this is the basket that
matters Mike Pettine.
Imagine it is the
fourth quarter on September 7th, 2014 Mike Pettine, and imagine you
are winning. Imagine the dawg pound Mike Pettine. Imagine the faithful, imagine
the roar of a fandom on the cusp, imagine their faith in you growing down after
down, quarter after quarter, and imagine the excitement, the collective
adrenaline rushing through veins in the stadium and in front of televisions and
radios in every state in the union. Imagine the thunderous call of Jim Donovan coming
to believe, imagine all of us believing we can win as the clock nears all
zeroes.
Do this Mike Pettine,
win this game and win your freedom, win your player’s freedom, win the fans’
freedom, win a city’s freedom from the disease of losing.
Thanks for listening,
Shannon
P.S. my father in law
is a Steelers fan, so pretty please, cherries on top, win this game.
