Mike Greenberg is starting to annoy
the living and the deceased shit out of me.
I listen to ESPN radio on my
lengthy commute sometimes and sheezuz is he just the worst.
For starters:
He uses “literally” incorrectly and a lot.
For after starters:
He said this morning that “by definition, Myles Garrett, plays run defense.”
Oh really, let us look up run
defense real quick in the dictionary here. [flip, flip, flip] Hmm, it should be
in here. [flip, flip, scan, flip] Nope, run defense isn’t in the dictionary.
For dessert:
Regarding the layoffs at ESPN yesterday he said: “Everyone who is conscious knows what happened at ESPN yesterday."
Literally, everyone who was
conscious knows what happened at ESPN yesterday.
[Fierce eye roll]
No Mike, the vast majority of
people, be they conscious, semi-conscious, conscientious, non compos mentis, Mentos-eating, or even Praying Manits do not, repeat, do not, know what happened at ESPN
yesterday.
Here’s the thing Mike, even fewer
people (please notice the use of “fewer” with a count noun, a grammar tip that
could and should be shared with people that get paid to talk into a microphone)
give a shit, be it figurative or literal shit, about what happened at ESPN
yesterday.
So Mike, tone the self-importance
down a bit. Tone it down a ton actually.
Literally, a ton.
lit·er·al
ˈlidərəl,ˈlitrəl/
adjective
adjective: literal;
adjective: literal-minded
taking
words in their usual or most basic sense without metaphor or allegory
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