Mustache of Light

Are things meant to be? Is there a destiny that works regardless of the supposed free will that humans possess? 

People act as if they have free will when it suits them and wrack it up to destiny when it suits them.

Ahh humans, nothing if not inconsistent.

Well consider what you would think when you are going about your business on a typical Monday night after a long day of work, kids to bed, when the wife says from the top of the stairs, “there’s a bat in our room.” Really? Really bat? I just wanted to do the dishes and go to bed but you are going to hang there in the room where I, my wife, and our 4 month old sleep. The damn dominoes that fell after this: prolonged strategy regarding extermination/execution of bat, adrenaline fueled push broom wielding execution of bat, call to pediatrician, call from department of health, storage of bat in refrigerator next to poppy seed buns, 8:00am handover of bat to testing center, call from department of health advising inconclusive rabies testing due to bat brain (no pun intended) being too “smooshed”, vaccination planned, 3 hour stay at hospital concluding with six shots for me, five for my wife, and two for our four month old...with more shots to come next week.

Wasn’t this just meant to be? How can the events roll out like this so perfectly/imperfectly without them being planned from the beginning of time? Isn’t humanity’s supposed free will forever on the sidelines waiting for a chance to get in the game and do something? The events are out there doing their thing on the field and there isn’t a thing your free will can do from the sidelines. Just sit and watch the game from the bench and hope your ass doesn’t go numb.

I don’t know about the logic of destiny but I do try to be consistent and if this imperfect bat and rabies vaccine is destiny then so is my mustache of light. You see, driving home from the hospital, six Despicable Me band aids on left arm and both legs, baby asleep in the back, toddler quiet and tiring out, I experienced a mustache of light. A car, at just the right distance behind me, at just the right speed, with just the right angle and just the right power of headlight, shining into my side rearview mirrors positioned in just the right way, reflected the light to just the right position above my top lip…to make a mustache of light. For a good 1 or 2 miles or so down the highway I possessed a perfect Magnum PI era mustache of light, glowing, bulbous, stuck above my lip. All the special effects in the world couldn’t have produced a better mustache of light.

So think what you will of destiny. Just be consistent if you believe in it. You can’t have it both ways. If it’s destiny, then it’s destiny all the way down, not a matter of degrees.

Sometimes you are in the Emergency room, sometimes you have a mustache made of light.